I’m Not Humble, I’m DELUSIONAL

conceited

Once upon a time, in my fascinating world of dating, I had a coffee date and this is what happened.

Coffee Date: yeah, I give a lot to different charities, and people love it when I do and are always thanking me… (sigh)… my family even says I do too much. But, I try to stay HUMBLE.

Me: Blank stare, raised eyebrows, and felt my eyes dilating at the same moment…

Coffee Date: But you know what? I don’t even mention it. I think it is our duty as human beings to give and there is no point talking about it though… All my family, friends and even the people I don’t even know come to me and tell me how charitable and philanthropic I am. And I am like, ‘no no… don’t say that.’ And I never praise myself. I just want to inspire other people to follow in my footsteps. It is all about humility…you know what I mean?

Me: Me eyes about to pop out of my sockets: Ummmmmm, sure…. Whatever you say…

I pulled out the iPhone to check the definition of HUMBLE. Had to make sure that Dear Ol’Webster’s definition and I were on the same page… I’ve got one word to say… REALLY? This man has to be right so Webster got the word, HUMBLE totally wrong?!

At this moment I realized that this man might be too HUMBLE for me. His overwhelming humility is impeding his ability to concentrate on anything other than himself.

Oh, by the way, did I miss my opportunity to mention the $1.00 I gave to the Salvation Army guy? 😉

I did learn something though- the meaning of humble is NOT CONCEITED NOR CONVINCED. In his case, he was convinced that he was HUMBLE and CONCEITED enough to talk about being HUMBLE.

Needless to say, we both lived happily ever after – he went his way, and I went my way laughing and bragging about my most humble date. THE END.

5 thoughts on “I’m Not Humble, I’m DELUSIONAL

  1. LOL!! I could not stop laughing this was funny! Congrats to you because if it were me in your situation, I would have punched him! LOL!

  2. Love the line, “he was convinced that he was HUMBLE and CONCEITED enough to talk about being HUMBLE”. I bet he had a big head! LOL

  3. Seriously do not understand why guys and sometimes girls talk like that!! So annoying! Next time, record it and when you tell him how idiotic he sounds, play back his recording!!! Would love to be a fly on the wall!! Lol!!! This is tooo funny…

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