Why Wheatish

Disclaimer: When we say “wheatish” it has nothing to do with the look of your tortilla or bread. The use of the word, “wheatish” (although derived from the word: WHEAT meaning grain) here is to represent a very particular and desirable shade of skin color that is not exactly brown and not nearly pearly white. Any person(s) who finds this reference offensive to their baguette or pita bread is purely coincidental and in no way represents the intention of the writer. We are equal opportunity consumers of all kinds of sources of complex carbohydrates.

Over the past few years, I have been set up by both; family and friends. And after a few dates, I began to suspect that my appearance, which had brought me nothing but compliments during my years of college, was a disadvantage when it came to dating Indian men.

This particular date solidified my doubts when he told me that I was a nice girl, someone he could talk to easily but he could not bring himself to be in a relationship with me because my skin color was darker than his and his Mommy would never approve. Interestingly, he had seen my pictures earlier and even appreciated “how lovely I looked” during our phone conversations. Still, it was too much of an effort for him to get past the fact that I had the quintessential “wheatish complexion” and was not the “fair and lovely” models that grace the Indian cinema.

The drive to have a fair complexion starts right at birth. One of most appreciated compliments that an Indian mother receives for her infant daughter is, “oh my god, look at her… such dark hair, such big eyes and so fair. She will have the best husband! You are so blessed! Keep her guarded against the evil eye!!!” So, if you missed that boat by some extra melanin pigments, you are entering into a lifetime of facials, home remedies, skin bleaches, fairness creams and lots and lots of milk baths and god knows what else. In a country of about 33 million gods and goddesses, guess how many are dark skinned?? Only a hand full! Geez…. talk about being a minority. These poor gods and goddesses had to compensate their “wheatish complexion” by having extraordinary powers and unimaginable wit.

So… imagine the ordeal we mortals have to face.

Hence, I dedicate this site to all women who share my wheatish complexion, have ample vitamin D, and get monthly facials to keep their wheatish complexions glowing proudly. Hail to my sisters!!!

The Complexion Palette

Now that we have discussed the ordeal of having a Wheatish Complexion, please allow me to introduce some other complexions that cause their bearers much unasked trouble.

COLOR OF CHARCOAL

These people face traffic problems, customs, famine and war. Historically, due to the color of thier skin, it was decided that they need not be paid a salary or wages for thier work.

COLOR OF WHEAT

Already discussed above.

COLOR OF RICE

Most commonly found in Vampires – the people of this complexion cannot go out in the sun and are highly allergic to silver and wooden stakes. Other side effects of the condition include uncommonly elongated incisors, and a taste for human blood, preferably from gullible teenage girls. For further information refer to Twilight (versions – Blue Moon, Half Moon, No Moon, Breaking Dawn, Broken Dawn, Bankrupt Dawn, and finally Forclosured Moon).

COLOR OF CORN

This condition is the direct outcome of having a long-term relationship with  a tanning booth. These people are usually the first ones to get arrested on spring breaks and frequently flash themselves during concerts. The number of hair extensions on their heads are directly proportional to their age. Ask Snooky for further advice.

COLOR OF PURPLE MnMs

These people suffer from eternal cuteness; other ailments include furriness, big bones, and funny accents. Commonly found in toy stores, amusement parks and birthday parties; they lack the social grace of wearing clothes. Case in point – Barney.

COLOR OF OLIVES

This is the complexion most of us support just before puking. It is a highly uncomfortable temporary skin discoloration and usually results in alienation from loved ones, soiled cloths, and foul smell. Once having puked, the person usually returns to their normal complexion but a photo or video evidence of the event can result in periodic bouts of embarrassment.

COLOR OF FAIR AND LOVELY

These people – having the perrrrrrrfect complexion – are prone to evil witches,  step mothers, abductions, high towers, dragons, spells, and sleeping pills. They employ unorthodox methods of help like, small people (must be seven), birds, animals, and talking mirrors on the wall. They always end up living happily ever after with a prince charming (whether the prince likes it or not).

22 thoughts on “Why Wheatish

  1. This post is funny, with the photos! I know it must be simple, but I just have never understood what wheatish really meant – I only saw it in matrimonial ads, I never heard anyone refer to themselves as wheatish for me to see (I don’t live in India, either). Plus, most of my relatives on my mom’s side are very light, I am dark (taking after my dad). So I started thinking, okay, so I am “dusky”. I certainly am compared to my family – but it’s all a continuum, hence the confusion. But now…from reading the description, .I’m confused, I think I might be “wheat”, lol! The wheat you have shown looks different from the fields of wheat I have seen, so I guess I will never know. One thing I am glad of – I eventually ended up marrying a white guy who has even less of an idea about wheat and dusky, he thinks it all sounds very funny and doesn’t seem to think much about the shade of my skin!

  2. My wife always blame me to choose her as she is wheatish and I am fair. Don’t know what had happened during our first date when we all meet together where she looks so fair and her parents also said same to my parents. I always appreciated her and always said her “What difference it will give you by this (color)”. But she always feel inferior, Really that sucks me and blame me for every thing and want to break marriage on same reason. Please Help!!

  3. My Wife family hides the truth that their girl is wheatish, initially its hard for me to adjust, but after sometime, I start loving her. But sometimes I generally feel cheated, when I first saw her, she looks so fair as I am fair in color, but she always feel inferior and want to break marriage. I don’t have habit to appreciate people and she as a girl want to appreciate her more and more. Please help!!

  4. My husband is an Indian very fair looking , he got attracted to me because of my wheatish complexion! People in UK adore dark skin, it’s the Asian mentality insulting all the beautiful dusky women. Infact women are the root cause of such racist ideas. They instill such thoughts into men. Respect and love yourself for what you are!

  5. hii… even I have a wheatish complexion n I m married to same as me an Indian guy… an arranged marriage.. n I hate myself for being wheatish… he dsnt like me bcoz of my complexion

    1. Kashish,

      I can understand the emotions and feelings you are going through — please do understand you’re not alone in this fight. There are people in your life; friends and family whom you can reach out to. If someone dislikes you for the color of your skin, it’s not a reflection of you are, but a reflection of their “INSECURTIES” and “SMALL-MINDEDNESS.” Stay strong, you are worth way much more than your complexion, which is also an asset, and not a weakness by any means. Please feel free to reach out to us at any time.

      Warm Regards,
      #WheatishComplexion

    2. I’m so sorry! I have wheatish complexion as well and living in the US, my friends love my complexion! Our skin color is considered ideal! Not too dark, but not pale either. Honestly I don’t like pale skin. I think it looks like a raw chicken…haha!

    3. That’s very sad indeed, talk about it with him.
      Hope he doesn’t care about the color of your skin instead loves you for the person you are.

  6. Why only women? Even men have Wheatish skin tone. I an Wheatish. I hope Wheatish girl and guy look good together. :)

  7. Hello, fellow wheatish complexion indian girl here too! Can I just say this post is like a god send and utterly relatable! What you wrote about the complexion palette is utter genius!

  8. I loved the whole premise of the blog, but it’s so so so cool how you’ve taken what could just be a fluffy (but fun) subject of dating and expanded it into a platform for more pressing issues that all women face, both single and attached. It reminds me of First Wives Club- yeah go back and watch it, it’s so

  9. Lol! I love the color palette. And the descriptions are humorous, but on point. Like the color of corn flashing themselves at concerts. Hilarious!

  10. Wow! This blog is amazing. I love how you paint a picture in the minds of your readers with your words. Your point of view is interesting, as well as humorous! This is one of my favorite blogs because it is so honest and well written!

  11. I need me a wheatish woman. And I don’t want her lighter or none of that come my wheatish sister just as you are and you will easily win my heart don’t worry over no indian men who must if lost they mind come and we will live in eternal bliss I’m not here to “front” and lie and say I don’t want no wheatish so you come and show me why once I go wheat I don’t retreat! I await our rendezvous with passion filled patience as difficult as it may be but don’t wait too long as I may not be able to stand waiting on my wheatish destiny just as I wouldn’t from any color woman. Fulfill our dreams and let’s not even think of being “sqeamish” cause we wheatish I await our union to my love with a greater greeting of love back to you wheatish forever!

  12. I must compliment you on your great writing skills! I could not stop laughing, especially reading the color palette! You definitely brought something to light here… LOL! Snow White’s connection to Edward had me rollin! I’ve gone through two entries and will read one daily. Great stuff!

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