PSA (Prospective Suitors Announcement)


One tiny teeny, even, teenier weenier request – please check the number you dialed before you begin selling yourself as a great catch. We don’t expect you to suddenly grab a conscience nor stop you from following your Neanderthal urge to dip your stick in as many pots as possible and if you get gushy mushy and even pushy with someone by the name of “Angela,” make sure you don’t dial my number instead. Because as air-headed as someone from the fairer sex can be, somewhere down the line we will realize that you are completely talking to someone else.

So ladies, I’m sure that I am not the first female this has happened to. A while ago, one of these so-called Prince Charmings on a white mule contacted me through one of these many online dating websites. Of course he looked great on paper, but so do I. We talked a couple of times – the first time we talked, it was a usual banter that we do to make sure we are both from the same planet. The second time we talked, I felt a sudden experience of déjà vous but rather than pointing it out, I suffered through it, many times thinking, “what the hell, did he even listen to me the first time we talked” which was less than twenty fours hours ago. Allow me to describe the third and last time we talked play by play.

Phone Rings.

Me: Hello

Him: Hi Angela, how are you?

“ME” who is certainly not Angela thinking: WTH, I hope he was calling his sister.

Him: I’ve been thinking about you, what’s been going on since we’ve talked babe (not even 72 hours and already calling me babe)… Hmmm….

“ME” deciding that since Angela is not your sister, I will milk you for this, and become your “babe,” Angela.

The banter continues between him and I (Angela) and he realizes two minutes into the conversation that Angela suddenly was not interested in the same things as she was a couple of days ago. So he finally says.

“Angela, wait, I’m confused because that’s not what you said the last time we talked.”

Me: “that’s okay because the last time we talked jackass, I wasn’t Angela either.”

So dear sisters, I am assuming you all know what happened next – NOTHING!

TIP TO THE MEN: We realize that your lives are much more difficult than Adam. There are just too many Eves to keep track of but when you’re courting someone on the phone, make sure you’re calling that particular someone. GET IT RIGHT, you’ve already been kicked out of one Garden of Eden!

5 thoughts on “PSA (Prospective Suitors Announcement)

  1. Too funny! I felt bad for you and Angela!! Shame on him! Glad you set him straight…if people stand up for themselves, then the cycle continues, right? Love your blog!

  2. Lol!! He might not be calling Angela anytime soon after that either 😉 your posts are hilarious! and very, very true about all the craziness out there. definitely a guide for us ladies to heed to!

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